My band is better than yours, this is a Civil War!
by Mebby
Summary: A Marvel battle to the sound of music? You are in the right place! The Apocalyptics want overcoming X-Men and these two groups will compete in a national event on the stage to win a record deal. Mebby


**My band is better than yours, this is a Civil War!**

 _Civil War, the event most awaited of the season when bands from America fighting in musical duels for claim to be the better band of the States._

 **~The Apocalyptics~**

Six months have already passed since Apocalypse formed The Apocalyptics, a band rock-metal from New York. Continually they practiced their war-horse, performing in third-rate pubs and receiving pizza and beer as payment.

Apocalypse is the leader and voice of the band. By now he is an expert of make up looking like a smurf. His aim was to dominate on X-Men, a famous band from Big Apple.

Magneto, the bass player, really believed in this project enough to offer his garage as rehearsal space. He didn't care about overcoming X-Men, he just needed achieve their level to form a his own band.

Storm, the guitar player with a strong character, joined the group because she wanted a change in her life. Apocalypse offered her the possibility to join with The Apocalyptics and a white hair dye. She also didn't care about overcoming X-Men, all she needed was adrenaline that she felt on the stage.

Archangel, the drum player, was tired to be defined a good boy so he joined the band for demonstrates to everyone that he was a bad boy but it wasn't true. Apocalypse gave him a pair of cardboard wings covered with aluminum foils. The boy was excited and he admired Apocalypse, until happened the breaking point: the leader, while the little angel slept, cut off his beautiful golden hair. Archangel from that moment, could never see Apocalypse in the same light again.

Finally and less important, Psylocke, the other guitarist of the group. She joined The Apocalyptics because she was in love with Apocalypse.

 **~X-Men~**

X-Men a rock rising band fairly well-known in New York. The group was born already some years ago from the dream and the commitment of the long-haired bassist, Charles, and from the support of his drummer and best friend, Hank.

They played in humble pubs since the beginning. After one year, they decided to open auditions for picking up new members. So, two years ago, the formation of X-Men was complete.

Professor X, the leader and bassist abovementioned of the band. He loved sway his beautiful wavy hair to the wind or while he was playing the bass. He often wore sweaters from the inadmissible colors.

Beast, co-founder and the guitar player of the group, wrote song lyrics and adapted the song's covers to their rock style. A note to recognize him was his short, light blue hair.

Mystique, the first new entry and voice of the band. She loved appear on the stage with brightly orange hair dyed and her skin totally blue. She bought a container of five liters of blue makeup for the scene (that she shared also with Kurt, the guitarist) from a door-to-door salesman, a guy named En Sabah Nur, who it turned out to be Apocalyspe, the leader of a rival band.

Quicksilver, the guitar player with silver hair. A genius with fast guitar solos. He loved wore goggles while he was playing.

Finally, Nightcrawler, the younger of the group, the other guitarist. Like Mystique also him was known for his performance with blue skin and a little devil's tail attached to his belt.

 **~The Civil War~**

The long-awaited Frabjous Day finally arrived. Actually it was arrived in previous days but we don't care about this. The important thing is that our heroes had successfully passed preliminary stages until they reach the final stage of the musical challenge.

They were remained five bands and it would remained only one: the best.

The Apocalyptics passed their shift playing a rock-metal cover 'Danger! High Voltage' of Electric Six.

Also X-Men successfully passed their round with a rock cover, 'X' of X Japan.

The other bands weren't bad but they couldn't do anything against the destructive power of a (one-sided) visceral competition at the hands of The Apocalyptics.

There was one little problem…

" _WHERE IN DAMNATION IS THE BASSIST_?!" Apocalypse screamed at the top of his lungs and panicked.

It was shortly before the show, about twenty minutes. The speaker, Deadpool, had already announced the performance and now he was entertaining the audience, to enable the bands to get ready for the scene.

"Don't worry, he wouldn't abandon us. He was just here." Storm heartened Apocalypse.

"W _e have to find him_ , let's split up!" the leader barked.

So it was that The Apocalyptics begun the hunt of Magneto.

The guitarist with white hair gently asked around if anyone had seen a strange man with cloak and helmet but she didn't get any results.

Archangel was pinned because of his cardboard wings and he wasn't much help.

Psylocke was limited to follow like a shadow her beloved Apocalypse and, the leader, opened without shame all the doors that showed up in front of him. Even the doors of toilets, where was threw him a heeled shoe on his head and the brunette, apologized for him.

Apocalypse opened wide a boxroom and he froze himself: he found Magneto grasped in a compromising pose with a guy.

"YOU!" the leader screamed, drawing attention of several people including members of other bands and of his own, who were passing by "YOU'RE NECKING WITH ENEMY!" Apocalypse pointed the finger on two boys.

"Prof., we were looking for yo- oh, hello Magneto. Do you seem like the time for that? We should go on the stage in a moment." Mystique softened the tension while Apocalypse had a bad twitch in his eye.

Quietly Magneto fixed up his helmet and cloak while Professor X freshened up his hair and his pink/lilac V-neck sweater.

Apocalypse growled watching those two still together and, to that sound, the singer of X-Men looked back at him "Oh, En Sabah Nur! I have almost finished the reserve of blue. We'll see you on Monday for the next order." she smiled and went away, dragging with her, Professor X.

Once they fixed the problem, the disappearance of the bass players, the musical challenge could start.

"Welcome shrinking violets! Here is Mr Pool who speaks you! Are you ready for the show? I suggest you to arm yourself of chimichanga, you'll need it to rekindle you. I introduce the judges for this final: first, the Australian balls and his bearer, Logan 'Jimmy' Wolverine. A round of applause for Australian balls! Second judge instead it is better don't make him mad, trust me! Bruce 'Hulk' Banner. Already I see that he becomes green, put your hands together, fast! And then, Groot and Rocket. They are two but we'll count them as one and-"

"I AM GROOT!" audience were in ecstasies.

"That is, just exactly. And now, roll of chimichangas! The guests of honor, the Super-Family, who will provide an annual record deal to the winner band. Ladies and bagman of the ladies, this is the Super-Family: daddy Steve, daddy Tony and sexy-little son Pete." Deadpool winked and sent a little kiss in the direction of Peter, which shyly and with embarrassment implied a greeting with his hand to the speaker (who unbeknownst of his fathers was his boyfriend) and took a slap from his dad, Tony, while Steve glowered Mr Pool and he had a twitch in his eye.

The show finally started and the bands performed one by one. Fourth band was X-Men and they performed with another rock-cover of X Japan, this time was "I.V.".

But Apocalypse was certain of overcoming them. He had his ace in the hole and was ready to use it. It was with certainty that he trod the stage.

Archangel flew about to the drum and once that everyone was in formation, they started to play. They were the last ones to perform.

The drummer give a rhythm with his drum sticks to kick off their metal melody "And one, and two, and one, two, three!".

"Soft KITTYY, warm KITTYYY, little ball of FUUUUR!" Apocalypse was singing with conviction while Psylocke was doing headbanging.

When the song finished, in the audience there was a deadly silence. The only sounds came from the Super-Family: Tony was all doubled over by loudly laughing, had almost spat his lungs out because of the violence with which he was laughing; Steve clapped with happiness for the performance and, their little son rubbed his father's back lovingly to prevent that he choked, but Pete was covering his face with other hand, flushed for the embarrassment that his fathers caused him.

It heard a thump, was Magneto who outraged had threw the helmet on the stage and growled to Apocalypse an "I knew it was a bullshit!".

From the bleachers it heard a "Language, guy!" from Steve and this was it the right time that Tony got killed by laughing too much.

Also Storm was outraged and giving a dirty look to Apocalypse, she left the stage.

Then it was Archangel's turn, for abandon the scene he knocked over cymbals with his wings.

"You! You cut off my hair while I was sleeping!"Archangel was outraged and his pride was hurt.

"It was about making your face most angelic!" the leader answered back but it was too late, Archangel was already gone and now he was ready to accept himself for what he was: a good boy.

"What the fuck?! You had to eat chimichangas, not smoke it!" Deadpool was upset.

All the audience burst out laughing and the tension was loosened while also Psylocke and Apocalypse cleared out the stage.

Mr Pool entertained again the audience and he didn't lack sending equivocal signals to the little son of the Super-Family, receiving nasty looks from Steve.

Judges returned on the stage to express their verdict. The audience was gloated to their reentry.

"Tell me Mr Australian balls, did you come to a decision?" speaker asked.

"I AM GROOT!"

"Well, I'll take that like a yes! And the winner is..? Drum roll, please..!" Deadpool said exhorting judges to speak.

"The Villains!" Bruce exclaimed with emphasis.

"Congratulations! You had kicked ass other bands with your original metal song 'Mission Report: December 16th, 1991'. So, come on the stage, c'mon! Now I give the floor to your manager, Mr Zemo." Mr Pool passed microphone to manager.

"Our song, 'Mission Report: December 16th, 1991', is a way of life! I want to thank my band for their unyielding commitment. I knew we could do it. I believed in this song and in my band's abilities. The guitar players, Venom and Ultron; the drum player, Red Skull; the bass player, Dr Doom; and, lastly, the voice, Loki. Thank you, guys!"

A roaring sound, complete with tiny squeaks did rise from the audience, the five members smirked with satisfaction and granted an encore, while, behind the scenes, Apocalypse picked up the pieces of his bitter defeat: he even lost his band.

Archangel decided to change his name in Angel and became a member of X-Men together with Storm; Beast decided to leave the drummer's role for give it to the new entry, Angel, so he could becoming the manager of the group.

In the end, Magneto and Mystique, discovering to have a lot of common aims and they formed a new band.

From that day on, The Villains would always been riding high and at the top of the charts. All their new songs written by Zemo were masterpieces!

 _~The end~_

 **~Mebby from** ** _Mr Pool_** **'** **s dressing room:**

Hello everyone! We are Italian girls, so if there are English mistakes, please, tell us and we'll correct them. :)

We hope you enjoy this fic. We were like laughing-Tony while we were writing and translating this story. :')

And remember! You _must_ love Stony, Cherik, SpideyPool, Loki and Australian Balls! Because they are so lovely!

If you want listen song covers, search on youtube 'X' and 'I.V.' of X Japan and if you are strong enough (xD) 'Danger! High Voltage' of Electric Six.

Ciao, ciao! :D

 **~Mebby**


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